you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
What a dumb baby whore.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
