I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
