I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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