sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
