found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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