It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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