Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
