just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
