Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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