Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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