We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Im part way to drunk.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
