so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
