do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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