is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
