how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
