you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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