they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
