Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
