pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
