Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
