Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
