question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
