i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
