In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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