Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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