In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
