I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize