Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he puts the penis in happiness.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
