Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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