I need help removing her.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
