we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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