she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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