Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
