I'm gonna have a badass scar
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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