stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize