I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
