the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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