Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
