Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
