Only a mothe r could love this liver
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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