I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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