My sheets look like a crime scene.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
