ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
