she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
