If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your penis caused this!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
