i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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