i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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