I CAN MOONWALK!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
