I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
