They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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