I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize