hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize