So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
