its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
