Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
