I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
