I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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