why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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