Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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