I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I know her cup size but not her name....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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