The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Panties = found
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