As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
