Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize