Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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