belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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