He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
