Got a toothbrush?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
