Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize