If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
