Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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